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Kelvin’s magnificent story

Kelvin was given a challenge to write a story in only 100 words or less. As every word was important he used a thesaurus to help him keep the reader engaged. We are very proud of Kelvin’s story.

“Help!” shouted the meekest man in the mountain range. The over-heated, perspiring man was gasping for breath as he spoke.  The elderly lady was perplexed as the man screeched in panic. “B-b-b-b-ear” he stumbled. The lady shrugged her shoulders and ambled away in disbelief…

THUD, THUD, THUD came colossal footsteps behind her. She turned to see a hungry, ferocious beast reaching out his furry paws to grab her…but she ducked out of the way just in time. Then she used her walking stick to smack the bear on the head. The bear walked off sadly, replying “I was only hungry…”

3 comments

  1. Kelvin – you love learning new vocabulary. You found the word ‘meekest’ in a story book you read in class and used it in your writing. Well done – we love your story in the hospital school!

  2. I have just read this AMAZING and gripping story to the whole of your class! They loved it! (Morgan wanted to add’It’s AWESOME!’).

    This is a very powerful and descriptive piece. You have engaged all 32 readers!

    WWW: Great range of adjectives
    EBI: Use of similes and embedded clauses for added detail

    Well done – we miss you

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